"In my experience, it's the people who don't know how to ask for help who need it the most. It doesn't matter why, all it usually means is that before anyone even realises they needed the help, they're usually in danger or worse. I'm glad you came to me. Stress and shock can put a brain into a volatile state and no matter how well we usually deal with shit, or despite our pasts, everyone is still susceptible to breaking. I can think of four times off the top of my head that I completely lost my shit. But there is absolutely nothing in this world that can prepare you for two things... the first time you see someone you love dead, and seeing a murdered body," Chase told him quietly, making sure to keep the soft rubs to Connor's back rhythmic so he could have something consistent to focus on.
He gave a small shake of his head. "I know you're probably feeling like you failed here, that you should have kept your shit together better, or even feeling stupid for letting yourself get caught up in that jeopardising your career that you've worked really hard towards. This is one of those situations where you don't have time to think, you just act. Not all that long ago, I was stabbed by a patient. I didn't see it coming, I felt like I should have. I felt like I fucked up for a very long time. Not only was the possibility of be never working again on the cards, but so was the possibility that I could be paralysed for the rest of my life. He could have killed me. Now, I've also fucked up in ways that I don't regret. I took a life of a bad person, and that's something I have to live with. This is something you will have to live with, but you'll be faced with this precipice... feel like you're standing on the edge of the cliff with no way out of the mess. You have to keep going. Or it will ruin you. I'm not talking professional, I'm talking mentally," he warned. "Especially if you don't know how much you can trust the others involved. Human nature, people will stab you in the back to save themselves. Protect number one, okay? I guarantee, they'll all be doing that too."
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He gave a small shake of his head. "I know you're probably feeling like you failed here, that you should have kept your shit together better, or even feeling stupid for letting yourself get caught up in that jeopardising your career that you've worked really hard towards. This is one of those situations where you don't have time to think, you just act. Not all that long ago, I was stabbed by a patient. I didn't see it coming, I felt like I should have. I felt like I fucked up for a very long time. Not only was the possibility of be never working again on the cards, but so was the possibility that I could be paralysed for the rest of my life. He could have killed me. Now, I've also fucked up in ways that I don't regret. I took a life of a bad person, and that's something I have to live with. This is something you will have to live with, but you'll be faced with this precipice... feel like you're standing on the edge of the cliff with no way out of the mess. You have to keep going. Or it will ruin you. I'm not talking professional, I'm talking mentally," he warned. "Especially if you don't know how much you can trust the others involved. Human nature, people will stab you in the back to save themselves. Protect number one, okay? I guarantee, they'll all be doing that too."