44.4. Reasons why not to get a puppy
- They pee, not just on the floor, but on everything
- They eat socks
- The chew up laces
- They cry all night
- They look too cute not to take to bed following said crying
- It costs no less than $200 for a decent (cute) dog bed, which they don’t sleep in
- They think the garbage bin is Disneyland
- Their ears fall in their dinner when they decide to eat dinner
- When they decide not to eat dinner, they realise its more fun to spread all over the kitchen floor
- You can stand outside with them for half an hour waiting for them to pee but after a Mexican Eyeball Standoff and no results, they will pee all over the floor the minute you take them back inside
- Human face connecting with puppy tongue is unavoidable
- Human fingers connecting with puppy teeth is unavoidable
- Why eat a pink plastic bone when you can chew on a $300 Littman Stethoscope in the middle of the night?
- They pee, not just on the floor, but on everything
- They eat socks
- The chew up laces
- They cry all night
- They look too cute not to take to bed following said crying
- It costs no less than $200 for a decent (cute) dog bed, which they don’t sleep in
- They think the garbage bin is Disneyland
- Their ears fall in their dinner when they decide to eat dinner
- When they decide not to eat dinner, they realise its more fun to spread all over the kitchen floor
- You can stand outside with them for half an hour waiting for them to pee but after a Mexican Eyeball Standoff and no results, they will pee all over the floor the minute you take them back inside
- Human face connecting with puppy tongue is unavoidable
- Human fingers connecting with puppy teeth is unavoidable
- Why eat a pink plastic bone when you can chew on a $300 Littman Stethoscope in the middle of the night?