Alex turned over onto his back again and pulled the covers up around him when he felt a wave of exhaustion come over him. He had started feeling sick after dinner the night before, and then ended up spending practically all night in the bathroom. He felt like he could sleep for a week. "I've always lived on the safe side. Played it safe, took the less risky route. I liked to have some control over my life, to know what was mapped out, at least in the short-term. But Beau... he's a cancer survivor. He might be facing the relapse now, but since his first remission, he lived life like there was no tomorrow. He was spontaneous. He would do this far out things like take up ballroom dancing classes just because he could, or donate a whole pay check to a homeless shelter. Drive three states to ride one rollercoaster just because he woke up figuring that day was the day he wanted to do it. And it was amazing. He's an amazing guy, but I couldn't do it. I tried, but he was such a free spirit and it started to cause niggles with us. We ended it and stayed friends, which I'm truly grateful for, but he was the one that got away. Now all I do is wonder if playing on the safe side has meant I've missed the perfect person for me out there somewhere."

He sighed and looked at Chase tiredly. "No matter how much I protest, you're going to stay, aren't you? Look... Chase... you don't have to do this. I'm not just saying that to give you a get out of jail free card. You're my boss, we work together every day. Anything more than a nice night is just going to be complicated and the last thing I want to do is make things weird between us."