With itsrainingmen || Playing doctor...

[trueaussiedoc]

Follows THIS

It took way longer than anticipated for Chase to get all his end-of-case paperwork done. It had been a longer case, with a ridiculous amount of investigatory examinations, along with the patient crashing no less than 8 times for the duration. Luckily, he managed to have a 'House moment' where it hit him what was going on, and once they realised what it was, it was one of those things that felt stupid that it took so long to figure out. But that was the name of the game, after all.

He was worried about Alex, though. The guy had a perfect attendance record, and he never even showed up late. For him to take a sick day, it had to have meant he was pretty laid up. Considering everything that had happened between them, Chase needed to go see that he was okay because he had been thinking about it a hell of a lot since it happened. As promised, he sent Alex a text when he was leaving the hospital and was now on the doorstep of Alex's apartment, ringing the buzzer. Alex hadn't replied to the text, so there was a chance he was sleeping it off. Checking his watch, he decided he'd only wait a few and wouldn't ring again. He didn't want to wake Alex if he was asleep.

Comments

[itsrainingmen]

Alex turned over onto his back again and pulled the covers up around him when he felt a wave of exhaustion come over him. He had started feeling sick after dinner the night before, and then ended up spending practically all night in the bathroom. He felt like he could sleep for a week. "I've always lived on the safe side. Played it safe, took the less risky route. I liked to have some control over my life, to know what was mapped out, at least in the short-term. But Beau... he's a cancer survivor. He might be facing the relapse now, but since his first remission, he lived life like there was no tomorrow. He was spontaneous. He would do this far out things like take up ballroom dancing classes just because he could, or donate a whole pay check to a homeless shelter. Drive three states to ride one rollercoaster just because he woke up figuring that day was the day he wanted to do it. And it was amazing. He's an amazing guy, but I couldn't do it. I tried, but he was such a free spirit and it started to cause niggles with us. We ended it and stayed friends, which I'm truly grateful for, but he was the one that got away. Now all I do is wonder if playing on the safe side has meant I've missed the perfect person for me out there somewhere."

He sighed and looked at Chase tiredly. "No matter how much I protest, you're going to stay, aren't you? Look... Chase... you don't have to do this. I'm not just saying that to give you a get out of jail free card. You're my boss, we work together every day. Anything more than a nice night is just going to be complicated and the last thing I want to do is make things weird between us."

[trueaussiedoc]

Chase stood and hooked the IV bag off the rail of Alex's curtains of the window just beside his bed. He unwound the tube and took out his tourniquet to clip around Alex's bicep. "Make a fist for me," he directed and took Alex's hand to tap the back of it, trying to find the best vein for the IV line. "Are you looking for a safe relationship then? Or are you looking for someone who completes you rather than fits you? See, Allison fit me. We worked together, we were good friends before that, we got along, we laughed... but we never completed each other. We were never going to either."

"Rob," he corrected quietly with a faint smile. "So, you wasted a poignant part of your life hiding from living in the moment, without the structure, without the reigns. I wasted part of mine trying to avoid complicated, and all it got me was heartache and loneliness. I'm not saying anything would be easy, but can you look at me and honestly tell me that the other night was just sex, end of story? Because I haven't been able to stop wondering since it happened if maybe what I was looking for was right under my nose the whole time."

[itsrainingmen]

Alex looked away momentarily. He might be a doctor, but he had never been a fan of seeing needles stuck into himself. "I'm just looking for contentment," he admitted wryly. "But that seems about as manageable as finding the Holy Grail. I know it takes a lot of balls and courage to stay friends with someone you used to love. But it helps you cherish them even more that they could still stay in your life."

He raised his eyebrows a little. Chase had always just been known as Chase. Of course everyone knew his full name, it was plastered on the door of his office, but Alex had never heard him correct anyone from addressing him by his surname before and there was something that told him that meant a lot. "Rob," he repeated in a murmur. "Why me, though? You could have anyone. Within reason, of course. Anyone you felt could handle all your baggage, which you've told me yourself."

[trueaussiedoc]

Chase nodded slowly and then lowered his gaze, a small frown of thought appearing. That was probably what he was looking for too. Maybe he had just been complicating everything and using his baggage a security blanket to avert potential relationships out of fear of it all crashing and burning on him again. After everything, he had just been left wondering if he was just ridiculously flawed. He couldn't seem to get something to work right when it came to love. Though, he knew with Cameron, the complexity of the extenuating circumstances had been unique and difficult to navigate through. "So... would it be right to deduce that you are scared about having another relationship with a friend in case it burns for you again?"

He met Alex's eyes again with a smile. "You're already handling my baggage," he pointed out to him softly. "You basically know about... well, I'll say 90% of it. The other 10% is just pretty huge, and it's something I'd rather talk about if we do get closer. If not, no big deal. I'm not forcing you to see if this is going to be anything. I don't want things weird between us," he admitted and carefully insert the canula into the back of Alex's hand.